Away

30th of November

That lovely feeling of rebellion struck my body this morning again. The feeling when you wake up, that it’s something wrong with it all and there have to be something done about it, anything, even if it’s just making a big fuzz to draw attention to the problem. Correction, my stomach felt rebellious, and it was either rebelling against me or something else. A big fuzz did it manage to make at least.

This was my last day at the Happy Home, my last day of work, but to be able to blame my absence and lack of work this day on the fact that I was sick felt kind of good. I wouldn’t really miss this work, might miss the kids a bit, for a while, but it hadn’t been the most emotional. The old Orphanage Mother Shila on the other hand was really upset about me leaving, and that made it even more awkward. I felt happy about it.

Just avoiding the kids was a bit easier now since school had started off properly now. It’s kind of ridiculous that this is the first actual normal day that follows the schedule we’ve been trying to plan after for the past weeks. Normal or not, it still weren’t much to do and what could be done could any of the other kids do better than me. It still didn’t feel right in some way.

I took good bye of Shila and gave her some money. It felt like it was expected in a way, and I really don’t know what to do with that feeling. This entire day was confusing, like it was a big cloud of gray covering everything. I just want to get rid of all responsibility to this place and get away. Away to Kathmandu is a start.